i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm having to shit out rocks
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
