we have pet lesbian snakes
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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