Where are you?
In a non slutty way
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
