so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
