I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
we should paint friendship bongs
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
