I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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