were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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