he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
