The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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