it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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