How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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