But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
