I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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