Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
