I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
