I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
