If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
