And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
