I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Boobs are out for the taking
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
