I wish i was in the wii world.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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