I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
