Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
