Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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