When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
