i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
