I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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