and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
