whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
