So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
