You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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