I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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