I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
try to milk me bitch
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