i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
