That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
