Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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