Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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