This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
