I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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