It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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