I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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