Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
im six kinds of drunk right now
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize