Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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