well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
