Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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