That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
