I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
