The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
