My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
