i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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