? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
