My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
