saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
