the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
