i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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