at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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