how do flat chested girls get laid?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
