This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
