I am in a vortex of obligation.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
dude. I can hear the air.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
