Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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