I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I puked a lego.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
