Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
