So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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