I love black thongs
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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