I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
