I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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