While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
