Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
