I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
