My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
