sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
