Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
