dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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